Good news, everyone!
This week was the first time I've hit my step goal since my injury! It only took six months. I have been slowly but surely working up to the goal, getting closer and closer each week, until finally it happened! I was pretty stoked, once I hit it. I had a day filled with walking, around the office, during my weight lifting session, a grocery trip, and cooking and cleaning at home. And surprisingly, I wasn't that sore the next day. I was a little, but nothing too noticeable. It did make me a little sad though, because 6 months ago, hitting 10,000 steps was nothing to me. That was mostly every day. If I were to hit 25k or 30k steps though, I would get super excited and felt like I'd accomplished something. Still, I'm just so thrilled to be physically able to walk that much in a day again without it ending in the fetal position.
I also had my first PT session on Wednesday with Stephanie since the hardware removal surgery. I wanted to address a couple of things with her, and check on my progress. In my last blog post, I described not really being able to come up on my toes, or push off the ball of my foot when walking. Basically, she said that I should get that back in time, but there's no guaranteed formula. I asked about stretches, or strengthening exercises that I could do to make it easier, and she was pretty against doing any of that, and wanted me to wait until my foot was ready naturally. There are still plenty of tendons in the midfoot that are healing, and she advised to just let that happen and not push through pain at all. I should do what I can do and what is comfortable, and no more. That was disappointing, because my mind is skipping ahead to hiking season and I'll need that functionality in my foot if I have any hope of doing some of the ascents I am planning.
Secondly, I asked about weight lifting for my lower body. Just basic stuff, like squats, deadlifts, lunges. She wasn't sure, so she called Dr. Van Boerum while I was at the office, and asked him about it. She said he was none too thrilled at me doing it, ever, but if I'm going to do it (which I AM...duh!) that I will need to wait until the 9 month mark post op (early April) to start doing any lifting. And, when I start, I need to start at a weight that I am capable of doing 3 sets of 20. So, what a bummer, I still have 3 more months to wait until I can start my lifting regimen again for my lower bod. I'm totally going to be the girl that skips her leg days for a while!
I also asked her about my limp. I hate my limp and I try really hard not to do it, but it does take some concentration and focus when I am walking. I was walking down the hall at work the other day, concentrating, and not thinking that I was limping. But, I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a long time, and he looked down at my leg and asked me what had happened and it looked like I was hurting. I guess I was limping and didn't even realize it! Stephanie said that the limp and my gait should start to correct it self the more time that passes. It is different for everyone. I could start seeing a difference in a few months, it may take a year, it may be 5 years and I still have it. Any thought of having a "normal" foot again is kind of out the window at this point, were kind of her words. I can deal with a limp around my family & close friends, but I feel like I am wearing a gigantic neon blinking disabled sign when I'm in public.
Something I've noticed since I've been completely out of the boot, is that have a tendency to hold my big toe up in a flexed position as a default. If I'm thinking about it, I'll correct it, and force my big toe down, but it's kind of how it naturally wants to be, especially when I'm barefoot. I was worried this would somehow cause a problem, so I asked Stephanie about this too. She said that it was a normal, compensation response because my extensor and tibial muscles are still weak in that foot. As they get stronger, my foot will do that less and less.
During my session, we worked on balance in the shoe and without. It still sucks, but getting better. I got a new set of exercises to do, most are focused on loading weight laterally (stepping side to side) and twisting my foot in a standing position. None of which are causing pain. As far as progress goes, she thinks I am ahead of where I should be, or where others are with a similar level of injury, so that was good at least! She thinks that I am doing so well that I can start seeing her every 2-3 weeks instead of every week.
I've been settling back into some of my old routines, going to the gym pretty regularly and working on nutrition to get my weight back under control. I have been doing the elliptical on some days even, despite how much I hate the machine.
I see Stephanie again in a couple of weeks, then it's off to Mardi Gras for a much needed travel vacation!
K, so, always, ALWAYS when I post about how great my foot is feeling, I end up putting my foot in my mouth! That was a metaphor.
I'm feeling emotional and frustrated, so boom, blog post!
Monday was my first day back from holiday vacation and the first time I was walking around the office boot free. I work in a building that has 25 acres of property and is 395,000 square feet. It is a BIG jump from walking around the house, to walking around this gigantic building. The walk from the parking lot to my desk is at least a 10 minute hoof, and I no longer have my handicap pass. It was about 20 degrees on Monday morning walking in. I was trying to walk as fast as I could to get inside the building as quickly as possible, but my "fast" walk is a meager saunter by normal standards. So, that was really frustrating. My mind wanted to go faster, my body was trying to push me faster, but my foot wouldn't cooperate. People were passing me left and right, and going around me, and I just felt defeated. Then I make my way to the elevator, cram in with 8 different people, and I'm the only one going to the 2nd floor. I know people are thinking that I'm lazy and should just take the stairs, mostly by people's reaction when we have to make a stop at 2. So I do my little walk hobble of shame to my desk, exhausted. I finally get to start my work day! But everything seems so......far. Going to the bathroom, running back and forth between meetings, going to the gym, getting lunch and coffee from the cafeteria, then the walk back out to the car. I got about 7,000 steps according to my fitness tracker.
The foot felt fine yesterday, and last night, pain free. I was just mainly frustrated because it takes a long time to get from point A to point B, but Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are shattered navicular bones. Then, I woke up this morning. I usually have soreness and stiffness when I first wake up, but I was really sore. And it didn't really go away after I walked around and got ready for work. Nate told me that I should wear the boot to work, but, I'm viciously stubborn and there was no way that I was doing that. He was sweet, despite my stubbornness, and dropped me off at the front door of my office so I only had to walk part of the way. Despite the violent protesting that occurred inside our vehicle about him doing so.
I thought finally walking would be the cure for everything. It isn't. Yes, I'm walking around in shoes (well just the one pair that I can so it does offer some interesting fashion choices...whatever..) and I'm so so so so happy about that. But on the other hand, I'm still a long way off from being 100% again, or at least close enough. I injured myself over 5 months ago. I spent 115 days not walking at all. I started walking with 25% of my weight in October with a boot in crutches. I weaned to 1 crutch after 3 weeks, then just the boot for 3 more. I'm finally out of the boot, but how much longer is this recovery going to take? It feels so long. Never ending. There was always a milestone to look forward to: getting my splint off and into a cast, out of the cast and into the boot, removal of my pins, weight bearing with crutches, no crutches, weaning out of the boot, walking in shoes. Now, there's just one more milestone left and that is the surgery to remove my screws. Granted, they've been causing me a lot of pain, and I'm optimistic that my pain and walking will improve once they are gone. I also will be slapped back into the book for a few weeks after surgery, and that feels like a set back. But, after the screws are gone, then what? What's the next milestone to look forward to? When will my limp go away? When is it going to be as good as it gets?
Yesterday was my first day that I was allowed to be out of the boot all day!
I've been working on weaning out of the boot for the last week and a half or so.
I still don't walk "normally", or what I would consider normal anyway. I think that will just take time. I move pretty slow when walking, and I have a little bit of a limp. As the day goes on my limp starts to get a little worse. I can't say that walking is necessarily painful, but my foot feels stiff and a unnatural. I still have plenty of hardware inside my foot that I am sure is not helping. I don't know how long it will take until things start to feel normal again, but I can say that I'm just happy to be walking. My arch still isn't ready to support my barefoot, so I need to have shoes on, preferably with an insert, to do any walking around. I have been trying to stand up more in the shower, rather than using my gimp stool, but my right foot still feels slippery on the tile. Like my foot can't grip onto the smooth surface or something, so I still need to steady myself on the wall.
I did have a follow-up appointment this week at TOSH. They took a set of x-rays, and this is the very first time I've taken a weight bearing x-ray on my right foot! I was a bit sore afterwards, since I had to be barefoot and my foot is still not ready for that. The doctor indicated that everything looked great, and had me schedule surgery on December 15th to remove the two screws. I was very specific that the surgery not conflict with the new Star Wars movie release, since I already have purchased our midnight tickets on opening night! He confirmed that my plate will stay in, mostly because the navicular bone does not get a lot of blood supply and taking it out may cause it to just crumble. Ain't nobody got time for that. Also, all of the screws will stay in the plate as well. I guess I'd always just assumed that they would come out. I can feel them, and it bugs me, but I'm sure after a while my foot will just get used to it's permanent guests. There is also a screw head that is across my Lisfranc joint (at the base of my 1st and 2nd metatarsals) that is poking my inside arch. It's been increasingly painful as I start to increase walking without the boot. It has been really tender the last few days. When I mentioned this to the doctor, he pressed down on the area to confirm it was the screw and not anything else. My yelp confirmed that yep, it's the screw. Ow. It was so sore that day after he did that. Jerk! Lol. I'm glad that screw will be removed in a couple of weeks.
Thankfully, I've got a lot of vacation time banked at work, and I will use most of it for my surgery and my holiday vacation. My co-workers unfortunately won't be seeing me much in the month of December!
For Black Friday, Nate and I splurged a bit and purchased a spin bike for our basement gym. Since I can't run, I actually couldn't even really walk for exercise right now, I wanted something at home that I could do for sustainable cardio. I really have been limited to lifting weights with my Power Blocks, or my TRX. While I love both of those, I need to do cardio (says the extra 20lbs I've put on since surgery!) and that is not really an option with strength training.
Even when I can start walking enough to increase my heart rate enough to the point of cardio, let me remind you that it is winter in Utah. Not only is the air freezing cold, and the ground icy, but we have this lovely thing called inversion, when the cold air gets trapped in the mountain valley, along with all the smog and pollution. It's quite disgusting, and breathing the air outside is not pleasurable. Most of January and February, when the inversion is at its worst, I struggle to breathe and often have horrible sinus issues. Exercising outside just makes it that much worse. Here's an example of the lovely crap the Salt Lake Valley gets to deal with for the majority of the winter:
I also had a birthday this week! I'm now at the ripe old age of 32. Nate got me a gorgeous necklace
that holds my wedding ring, and took me on a hot date to Ruth's Chris where I had the most phenomenal surf & turf.
The last time I got fancied up was for our anniversary in August. I was still on my scooter, non-weight bearing and I had to keep my foot elevated most of the time. It was great to be able to go out without having "special needs" and I could be a normal girl for a night out on the town! It also made me reflect on how tough this year has been on me (and Nate) and I am so grateful that I had my best friend by my side the entire time and I realize that I could not have made it through this without him.
