Das Boot

Today I graduated from cast to boot!

My mom has graciously taken on the task of being my caretaker while Nate is on his business trip to New York.  So that means she got to take me to my appointment!  We dropped him off early in the morning at the airport, and then made our way to my appointment at the TOSH Hospital for my 6 week post-op check-up.

The nurse brought me back to the doctor's office, and immediately got to removing my cast.  She wheeled in what looked like a Shop-Vac R2D2 type looking contraption with a saw attachment (eeeeep....Wanna play a game?) and set to work.  She told me that the saw would cut through the cast but it would not cut through the padding.  She said when the saw hit the padding, it would feel kind of weird.  And it did, it kind of tickled, but kind of didn't...it was an odd sensation.  

It took her all of about 2 minutes to get it off (she was a pro), and Frankenfoot 2.0 was revealed!

My toes and surrounding foot area are still pretty swollen.  Granted, the swelling has come down quite a bit, but they are still very visibly puffy.  I thought the swelling would have gone down more than it did, but the doctor said it was normal to have swelling for up to a year after the surgery.  Once the cast was off, it was time to get a set of x-rays.  I rode Trumpy down the hall into the x-ray room, confirmed I wasn't pregnant, and had 3 sets of piggy pictures taken.

(scooter shot!)

It felt so weird to have the cast off.  There was no resistance when I was lifting my leg up and down so it didn't take quite as much effort to do it.  But I also felt like my foot was vulnerable and exposed.  I was surprised that I could actually set my foot down on the x-ray table and not really have any pain.  I thought it was feeling and looking pretty good!

I got back into the exam room and the nurse then took out my stitches.  I was sitting up straight ready to watch her do her magic.  She told me that if I was squeamish at all that I might want to lay down.  Since I usually get close to passing out when I have blood drawn, or cut myself, I decided that she was right, laid back, and went to my mind palace.  It hurt way more than I thought it would getting the stitches removed.  I'd read online about how it feels (always a perfect source of reliable information) and most people had said they either couldn't feel it at all or it felt like a rubberband popping on your skin.  Well, maybe I don't have that great of pain tolerance because it frickin' hurt!

Once the stitches were all gone, I then got to see the doctor.  I got to see a new angle of the pins in my foot and it probably explains why it hurt so bad the other week when I lost my balance and came down on my heel.  There is a pin going vertical in my foot, and the doctor said putting any weight on it at all would be really painful.  The bad news is, I will have to have two surgeries.  I have a set of pins, and a couple of sets of screws.  The pins will need to come out first, and that surgery will happen in about 6 weeks (12 weeks post op).  I scheduled that appointment for October 12th.  The screws won't be ready to come out though, so I'm looking at another surgery mid-November.  I was really hoping to just have 1 more surgery, but 'tis not to be.

(that little guy - oh don't worry about that little guy)

The skin underneath my cast was pretty gross.  It was all dry and peeling, and still had mud from Spartan and that yucky yellow iodine disinfectant stuff that they slather on right before surgery.   My right leg also looked like a wet noodle.  A furry wet noodle.  

(furry wet noodle on the left)

The doctor said that the holes from where my stitches were needed to heal, so no showering or shaving for 24 hours.  WHAT?!?!  This was clearly the worst news of the day.  Of the century.  I was so looking forward to having a date with my shower tonight.  A nice, long, hot shower, washing, and shaving my leg.  Then lotioning it up with some lovely smelling body butter I purchased for this very affair.  But, 'tis not be!  Also, the doctor said not to use lotion for a little while where there was lots of dead skin.  Or it would just turn in to a dead skin slurry.  That's a lovely visual.

I got fitted for the boot.  There were no color options.  I clarified that and also complained.  But the doctor just told me to bedazzle it.  Bedazzle it I shall!  I am going to bedazzle the sh*t out of it.

The doctor also wanted me to work on range of motion exercises.  Well, 2 exercises.  Just pointing and flexing my toes (trying to get my foot into neutral position), and rotating my foot side to side.  We tried it.  It hurt.  Well, it hurt so good.  I could almost get to neutral.  I'll work on that.  He gave me a script for 2 sessions with a Lisfranc specialist physical therapist if I felt I needed help with the exercises.  I'm going to take full advantage of it, because I want the best possible outcome.

 All done!  We then headed off to breakfast place that I wanted to try (Penny Ann's Cafe) and I had a bacon waffle.  It was totally amazing and great cast removal food.  I'm not a food reviewer but my friend over at SLC Food Radar is!  He did a great review on Penny Ann's. Anyway!  Bacon waffle!!  Mmmm...Bacon.

Bacon makes everything better.

Husbandless

No, not forever!  Just next week.  Nate needs to travel to New York for work next week (his 3rd time this year!) so he will be gone.  This will be the first time since my injury that I am without my husband, for an entire week!  I hate it when he is gone, even when I am 100% healthy.  I'm glad that he is traveling now, and not 4 weeks ago.  I am much more stable now than I was then.

I will miss him; it sucks having to live without your best friend in the entire world.  I know I will still be able to Skype with him, but there's nothing like his presence.  He cheers me up when I am down, he makes me laugh, and I still get warm fuzzies and tinglys when I look at him.  Last time he traveled, we Skyped while watching Game of Thrones together.  Because we are nerds like that.

 I'm a bit bummed since last time he traveled to New York, I got to spend the weekend with him there.  I ended up only needing to pay for my flight out there, since work was covering his travel expenses.  We saw Book of Mormon, went running in Central Park, went up to the Empire State Building, had pizza in Little Italy.. all of your typical New York stuff.  That is not even an option now even if I wanted to go.  No way I could navigate the airport, or the subway or getting in and out of a taxi, carrying my luggage, and all the fun times that come with going on a trip.  It was our anniversary yesterday (12 years!), and we are celebrating this weekend before he leaves.  It would have been fun to spend the weekend in New York, but New York will always be there.  Well, unless there's a zombie apocalypse.  New York is probably pretty screwed then.  8 million people, isolated on an island.. not the best scenario for survival.

I do have a doctor's appointment on Monday, and my mom will be taking me.  She is also going to spend a couple of days with me at my house to keep me company and help keep me sane, since I'll be housebound all week.   I'm just super bummed Nate won't be there with me at my appointment. Hopefully, I'll get this gross cast off and graduate into a moon boot.  I did finally get some signatures from friends on my cast!

I'm anxious to see my x-rays and see how my foot is healing.  I can pretty freely wiggle my toes and move my foot a little inside my cast - not nearly as flexible as my left of course but it is progress!  I'm also starting to get the "my foot is asleep" sensation again, which I haven't had since my fracture happened!  My toes look like little old lady toes; they are super wrinkly.  I assume that is from all swelling that happened and from dry skin.   I still have my stitches so I'll be getting those out.    I'm also looking forward to some physical therapy and talking about exercising (maybe being cleared to swim?!) I'm hopeful.

I've been keeping up my exercise routine and I feel myself getting stronger.  I am hitting the weights about 4 times a week, and going up in weights even!  People keep telling me I am crazy.  My upper body is much stronger than it ever was pre-injury.  I can press almost 20lbs more than I was comfortable doing before, and I keep progressing.  I've never focused so much on my upper body before, it is a total change for me.  I think my body likes it!  However... I'm pretty scared to see how much squat/deadlift and lower body power I've lost.  Nate says my right leg looks and feels like a jello mold.  Sexy.

i've totally been hogging all the weights from errrbody

I've also been going in to work every other day.  That seems to be the right balance for now.  I still have a hard time getting comfortable at my desk, so a day on and a day off is giving my body the rest that it needs.  I'm also not used to wearing a left shoe, since I was home for 6 weeks straight, I never put on shoes!  So, having a shoe on my left foot bugs me.  I always take it off after a few hours of being in the office and I hide it under my desk.  I also have been wearing my vast collection of Victoria's Secret yoga pants to work (the most comfortable pants ever) and just hoping no one notices.  The position I have to get myself in to elevate my foot is not a very forgiving one in business casual pants.  You guessed it, Zero F*cks Given!

I'm both excited and not excited for Monday.  I get to see the doctor but have to send the hubs away until the weekend.  I'm just hoping for good news from Dr. Van Boerum!

Pink Cast Blues

Let me start off by saying that I've never broken a bone before, so I've never had a cast. 

But, I'm really sick of my cast!

It taxes my gig.

1) Casts are gross!  I never really thought about what having your leg encased in something for a month will do.  Nate swears that he isn't able to smell anything, but I think it smells totally funky.  Sometimes, it is the only thing that I can smell, especially when I just get done taking a shower.  So I find myself dousing my entire cast with Bath & Body Works sprays, usually Tahiti Dream  or Bourbon Vanilla Strawberry.  I'm constantly worried about it.  But then again, I am sensitive to smells in general.  One day, if you want a real treat, ask me about the worst smell on the planet:  outside smell.  You can only smell outside smell inside.  Cold outside smell is worse than warm outside smell.  If outside smell gets on anything, it either must be washed or replaced.  Or, I will gag, uncontrollably.  Outside smell is a real, horrible thing.  My logic is undeniable.

2) Shaving! I have to shave every day.  If I don't, I am unable to sleep and I just think about the unshaven hair.  The fact that I cannot shave my right leg from the knee down drives me bonkers.  Leg hair... yuck!!  Each day, my cast gets looser and looser.  So, each time I shower, I see how far down I can get the razor.   Probably not the best idea I've had.  But, if I can see the hair, it must be shaved.

3) Skin issues!  Apparently your epidermis is constantly shedding skin.  Normally, this dead skin gets removed through your regular hygiene regimen or through natural friction (from clothes, bed sheets etc.)  Well, when you have a cast, there is no place for the dead skin to go so it just sits there and collects.  And I can see it.  And if I can see it, it MUST.  BE.  CLEANSED!  I've found that I'm pretty obsessive about it.  Like OCD obsessive.

4)  It's hard!  Yes, I know that is the whole point of a hard cast.  But this sucker is solid.  So solid, that I have had a pretty good bruise line for almost a solid month now of where my cast rests against my leg when I use Trumpy.  Nothing compares to the bruises I got after Spartan though. I did take pictures of them - I'm morbid like that.  This is my "good" leg:

As much as I hate my cast, it is doing it's job.  *grumble*  On the way in to work Wednesday, I got a little more daring with my need for independence and decided to try and hop to the car with my work backpack on instead of having Nate carry it for me.  It had my laptop, chargers, tennis shoe and gym clothes (for working out) so it was a bit meaty in weight.  When I got to the car door, I tipped backwards a bit lost my balance, and 31+ years of instinct kicked in and I slammed my right foot down on the garage floor to steady myself.  Mistake!  I was in so much pain, I started sweating, and seeing spots, thought I was going to pass out!  Nate came over and got the backpack and got me settled in to the car.  I thought I was going to puke.  But, after about 10 minutes, the intense pain subsided and turned into just a dull ache.  My foot was like, "Something bad happened to me!  I'm going to sulk ALL day! :("  I immediately thought I'd done some damage to my surgery site, but then I realized that is what the CAST is for. It's sole purpose is to PROTECT me, not make me miserable.  I was fine the next morning, and actually noticed I am having more feelings in my foot than normal.  I was loading dishes last night, and my toe started itching!  I hadn't experienced a toe itch since my initial injury.  I was so excited about it, I called Nate over to show him.  But I couldn't really show him.  Even though it is a crappy feeling, it is a feeling!

So even though I hate you, thank you, cast.

I Miss Sleep

Sleeping used to be one of my favorite activities before my LisFranc injury.

Now, I kind of dread it.

I have the hardest time getting comfortable at night.  My incisions will start to itch randomly, or bump up against the side of my fiberglass cast and cause an uncomfortable sensation.  Or, I'll get a visit from the little gremlin that lives inside my cast, and he will randomly stab my foot with a knife, or a searing hot poker, or a taser.  Whatever he can find.

I have a pillow fort set up, that encases me in a wall of softness.  This helps will my comfort level, because I can rest my elbow or knee on the pillows and take some pressure off because my foot demands to be elevated at all times.  But, it also closes me off from my husband, so I kind of feel like I'm in cuddle jail.  I miss snuggling with my nice, warm, husband and drifting off to Hawaii Dreamland.

I'm a side sleeper, and sometimes I can contort my body into a position that will allow me to somewhat sleep on my side, still have my foot elevated, and not have too much pressure on my incisions.  But, it's like getting all 9 (that's right, 9, I got your back, Pluto) planets to align.

I still can't stand the sensation of a blanket on my exposed toes, so I have to stick my foot out of the covers.  That drives me insane, because ever since I was a little girl, I have hated to have any body part hanging out of the covers.  Because monsters will get them.  So I lay there, staring at the ceiling in the dark, imagining all of the horrible creatures lurking unseen in my bedroom looking for a midnight snack.

I used to be able to read for an hour or so, and that would make me nice and comfy and sleepy.  I could probably read all night now without getting tired.  Even on work nights, I am staying up well past midnight still reading my novels.  Then finally turning my Nook off, and tossing and turning for what seems like days.  Then my cat decides she wants to cuddle with me, so she comes and lays on my chest and belly.  And she'll sit there purring, softly nuzzling my face, pawing at me with her adorable little paws, drifting off to her own Hawaii Dreamland.  I suppose it's more like Tuna Dreamland or Treats Island.  Of course I can't move or disturb her once she's fallen asleep - that would be rude.  Eventually she leaves to go bully our other cat for her nightly capers.  I hear him being tackled and screaming like a little girl.  I chuckle and can focus on getting comfortable again.

I have tried different sleeping techniques, breathing exercises, and playing around with the settings on the Tempurpedic to induce that lovely feeling of being tired.  To no avail.  Don't get me wrong, I can take a sleeping pill, or a Melatonin, or a Klonopin, and that'll do the trick right quick.  But, I want natural sleep!

I have to remind myself that this is only temporary!  It's been 3.5 weeks since surgery.  Only 8.5 more weeks being in a cast or boot.  Then... it's all about Hawaii Dreamland.

Ready to Work! Kind of.

This week, I started going back to work.

I say kind of, because I've spent the week telecommuting, working virtual, being remote, whatever you'd like to call it.  I feel lucky that I have the flexibility in my job to do that.  I'd say that I have an awesome, understanding boss, but while I was out on medical leave she abandoned me for another position.  So now she's just a good friend. :)  I got the news that she was leaving at a really bad time in my recovery (emotionally) so I spent the whole day crying about it.  I look back now and blame that on the drugs and the after-effects of the anesthesia.  I've read on the internets and from fellow bloggers that it can really mess with your emotions those first couple of weeks, and that is NO lie. 

But, the rest of my team has been really understanding of my situation and I am grateful for that!  I went back to work on Monday morning, and as soon as I logged in online on my work laptop, I was flooded with IM messages from my team mates welcoming me back and sending good words of encouragement, wanting to catch up, and just wanting to chat with their co-worker that has been missing for a month.  It felt so good to here from them again.  The majority of my team is based in Phoenix (I'm in Salt Lake City) so it's kind of a bummer that I won't be able to see their faces when I am able to return to the office.

I hope that it's soon.  I've been trying to take every opportunity to get out of the house when I can, even if it's just a car ride with the husband to fill up gas in the car.  I start to have anxiety attacks about what awaits me when I do return to the office.  I've never thought about how handicapped accessible the building is and how well my scooter will work.  Can I get to my desk and into my office chair without assistance?  How am I going to elevate my foot during the day?  It gets very painful, swollen and turns purple if it hangs down like a normal foot.  How am I going to stay comfortable for 8 hours a day?  Are both my scooter and I able to fit inside conference rooms for meetings?  How do I stay comfortable with minimal pain when I have long meetings?  Will my scooter fit in the bathroom?  Is it going to be a pain using the toilet?  What if someone is in the handicapped stall when I need to go?  I'll just have to sit and wait around?  How do I carry stuff from the lunch room, like a hot cup of coffee or bowl of soup?  Are my co-workers going to get sick of me asking for help with normal, everyday tasks that people should be able to do on their own?  I guess I'll figure that out as I make the eventual trip into the office.  It may not be as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be.

I really am trying to stay positive otherwise.  I've been making it down to my basement gym every other day to activate my beastmode and bust out some workouts.  But, I've found myself getting kind of bored with my exercises.  All I can really do is upperbody and core.  I tried to do some knee squats, and my right quad is SOOOO weak!  Nate told me that my right leg is looking rather wimpy.   I think it is too. It's hard to absorb because right before Spartan, I was deadlifting/squatting 100+ lbs.  I'm trying to get creative with my workouts and keep it interesting, but I haven't quite figured out how to do cardio with my home gym.

Bleh.

I am hoping that once my cast comes off, I'll be free to do a little bit more, like biking or swimming!

All in all, going back to work was a good thing.  I'm absolutely swamped with work and playing catch up, so it keeps my mind occupied, and off this whole pity-party-I-only-have-one-leg scenario that plays over and over in my head.

4 Weeks Post Op - Operation Get Swole

It has been 4 weeks post surgery today!  In some ways, I look at the time has passed, and it has flown by.  In other ways, I look at it and it seems like it has taken forever to get here.  Doesn't matter, I hit the milestone and am a third of the way through my non-weight bearing phase.  Hooray!  In two weeks, I'll be halfway - I have to keep breaking it into manageable chunks to keep it from feeling overwhelming.  Kind of like weight loss!

I haven't noticed a ton of changes to my foot.  It does bother me that I can't see what's under there and how it's actually looking.  I can't say that it necessarily feels "good" but it doesn't feel bad either.  I don't have a lot of pain when I'm simply sitting or laying around, aside from the random nerve firings or cramps that I feel.  My incisions do itch from time to time so I am very aware that they are there.  When I'm up and about and/or don't have it elevated, I definitely feel my foot becoming angry and swelling up.  And of course, when I bump my foot (especially when my toes get pushed) it still does hurt quite a bit!  The biggest offender has been my cat.  He frequently likes to "kiss" (aka rub his face all over) my foot and sometimes he gets a bit overzealous and his expression of love causes me shocking pains.

My cast is also starting to loosen up as the swelling has gone down.  It doesn't feel quite as snug and supported as it used to, mainly in my ankle area, so I feel like I actually have a little bit of motion and wiggle room inside the cast.  

My left ankle is still hurting, and it is becoming quite annoying.  I'd like to be able to get up/pivot/hop/put weight on that foot without much pain but I haven't been that lucky yet.  It does feel a lot better when I put the lace up brace on, but if I wear it, I'm pretty much limited to flip flops because it doesn't really fit into any of my other shoes.  I have very much not been caring about fashion these days though, just whatever is comfortable and practical.  Zero F*cks Given!

I did make an actual physical trip in to the office yesterday!  It felt great.  It was a rainy and gloomy, and I kind of wanted to just stay home under my couch blanket, but I REALLY wanted to go in.  So, Nate loaded me up into the car and off we went.  I'm really lucky I get to work in the same building with my husband!  I had an easy enough time getting in to the building (thanks handicapped parking), and I found out the building is pretty accessible, so I didn't have any issues getting around or through doors.  As luck would have it, the handicapped accessible door right by my desk is broken, so I have to take the long way to get out of my area.  I see it as an opportunity to get a bit more exercise worked in to my day.  The biggest challenge I've come across that keeps me from wanting to go in everyday is the comfort issue.  In my 8 hour day, I couldn't find a way to sustain comfort.  I was able to elevate the foot on my cube desk, but it was awkward and put a lot of pressure on my back and on my other joints.  I could only stay in that position for maybe 45 minutes, before I'd have to get up and scoot around and stretch my muscles.  I had a lot of people make a comment to me that I didn't look comfortable... they were absolutely right.  It sucked.  Here I am resting uncomfortably at my desk (and shhh... I haven't updated my calendar since June)

But, along with going in to the office, I also had access to the office gym.  Pre-injury, I visited it everyday and I have a strong band of gym buddies that I have been really missing!!  So of course, I had to make a trip in.  Ever since Spartan, Nate has been undergoing.... 

"Operation Get Swole"

.....and he is doing an amazing job!  He is focused on bulking up and hitting his "glamour" muscles.  Basically he is hitting the weights pretty intensely and eating a billion calories a day.  He makes his daily uber shake, which consists of more calories than I eat in an ENTIRE day.  I can see his body transforming and his shirts are getting too tight in the chest and shoulders!  He is so sexy... I just enjoy looking at him :D  I hope to have some progress pics of him soon!

So, I went along for an Operation Get Swole workout session with Mr. Stud Muffin and activated the beastmode.  

















I got a lot of stares and some funny comments about working out in my cast.  But ya know, Zero F*cks Given!  My favorite part was getting to see my trainer, I hadn't gotten to see her in a month so we had a lot to catch up on!!  She's had her fair share of injuries and offered lots of advice, coaching and encouragement for getting through the injury.  The most important of that is just allowing my foot to heal and not try to start doing things too early.

My office visit was a success and a break up of the monotonous couch life.  I can't say that I was super productive that day because of all the socializing I did with my co-workers.  I need to get the comfort situation figured out, so that I can go in the office more.  It was also exhausting spending an entire 8 hour day there, I need to work up my strength for being back full time.

FrankenFoot!

I had my 2 week follow-up appointment at TOSH today.  They removed my splint, and took some x-rays to see how my foot is healing.  When the nurse peeled back the splint, I got my very first glimpse of my tootsie since going under the knife.  It looked like...FrankenFoot!!  It was not pretty.  I also have a pretty serious case of the furs, since I haven't shaved in almost a month.

First, the x-ray.  I ended up with only one plate (at one point the doctor thought he would need to do 2) and a myriad of pins and screws.  My navicular was the worst injury, and therefore has the most metal.  

And now, I present Frankenfoot, in all it's glory (not for the squeamish):

 I am going to have the most wicked scars.

It felt pretty liberating to have the splint off.  As a fun side trip, I also had my left ankle x-rayed at the doctor's office today.  When I had my accident, I sprained my left ankle.  I was so preoccupied with my right foot and it's injury that I never thought of getting the left foot looked at.  Almost a month later, I still have pain in my left ankle.  The Doctor examined it, and the x-ray was negative so no fractures.  Phew.  I had horrid worst-case scenario nightmares of needing my left foot operated on as well.  He thinks it's probably just a sprain taking it's time to heal.  I got a spiffy lace up brace for my left foot.

Now for the most important question of the day:  what color will my cast be?  Hot Pink, of course!

I'd never gotten a cast before, so the experience was educational.  The nurse came in with a basket of wraps and padding, two buckets of water, and some torture looking device on wheels.  She had me sit on the edge of the table and place my foot flat on the bar of the torture device.  Turns out it was just a way to help align my foot into a "neutral" position.  She got it aligned, and although uncomfortable, it wasn't too bad, she started to wrap my foot, and I started feeling kind of dizzy.  I have been getting dizzy spells ever since the surgery when I am in a vertical position for any extended period of time.  I also hadn't eaten.  I tried to continue on, but was on the verge of passing out, so I told her I needed to lay down.  She immediately returned with an assortment of juices and granola bars which I shoved into my mouth.  I laid there, pretty embarrassed, and she said not to worry - the body has ways of dealing with trauma and sometimes this happens.  I rested for about 15 minutes, then she came back and we started again.  This time, it went smoothly.  After the padding layer, she took the first layer of the cast and dunked the wrapping in water, then wrapped that around my leg.  By some sort of magical science, this caused the material to harden into a very sturdy cast.  She did the same with the hot pink layer - dunked it in water and then wrapped it over my leg.  I guess the chemical reaction causes some heat, because my leg was pretty darn toasty inside.  And that was it!  Good to go.

I am sure glad I got that pedicure right before Spartan, otherwise my toes might be just as scary as my FrankenFoot is!  I made another follow-up appointment in 4 weeks.  At that time, the cast will come off, we will take another set of x-rays and see how healing is progressing.  If all is good, we will start working on some range of motion exercises and graduate into a boot.

I still feel pretty bummed.  The doctor plainly told me today that "my days of running and high-impact exercising are over."  I'm not sure if he is just playing it very conservatively at this point, or if it really is true.  Maybe I can still run, just not long distances?  I'm trying to focus on all of the other things I can do, like hiking, biking, and swimming, but it is easier said than done.  I'm determined to make the best out of my physical therapy and stay positive.  I'm only 2 weeks down, there is plenty of healing left to do.