Rampage!

Well, I've been boot free, hardware free, and walking in my shoes for a month now!

I should be really excited.  But, I'm kind of not today.  Yesterday, I went in for another physical therapy appointment.  Stephanie always asks about my pain levels and what I still feel is difficult for me.  I started off by saying that I still have pain, or at least some degree of discomfort with every step, but that it was mostly manageable.  I was pretty excited to hit some milestones, such as getting 10,000 steps and going back to the gym 5 days a week.

But, she was concerned about the pain, and not very excited to hear that I was having any, so we took a look at my foot.  I've got a couple of issues going on.  First, my big toe joint is super stiff, and is definitely the source of my pain on the left side of my foot.  It hurts a lot in the "toe knuckle" (?) area and I can feel it all the way down into the arch of my foot.  She said that I am only at about half the range of motion I should be in that toe, and that I need to get upwards of 70 % for a normal gait.  So, lots of stretching needs to be done to help correct it, and I'm supposed to stretch my foot on a wall for 3 sets of 30 seconds, 3 times a day.  I did the first set in the PT office and I could already feel the difference.

Then, the more concerning of the two, is that she says she believes I have the beginnings of a stress fracture on my 3rd metatarsal head.  I was complaining about a pain spot that wasn't anywhere near my incisions, or where I even broke my foot.  She pushed on the sore spot and could definitely see something going on, since it was swollen and she could see her fingerprint indent stick for a couple of seconds after she pushed on the area.  She said that she did not like that at all, and that I would need to dial down my activity for a couple of weeks.  Essentially, my little metatarsal bones cannot keep up with all of the activity I am doing, so they are screaming at me to slow down.  I am also putting a lot of stress on them (~200% of my body weight) because of the issue with my big toe joint.  It's a classic case of overcompensation. Instead of doing physical therapy exercises every day, I will now be doing half sets, every other day.  And, I need to stop walking around so much. WHAT??  I thought I was doing good!! I thought trying to get 10,000 steps was a good thing. I still can do the bike, and the elliptical, since that is non-impacting, and any weightlifting should be done while I am seated.  So, I'm kinda pissed, and angry, and frustrated.  I don't feel like I am doing that much!  I feel like it is such a set back.  She even said that going back into the boot for a bit might be good.  So I spent the entire car ride home, stewing in silence, with the worst case of resting bitch face you've ever seen!  When we got home, Nate asked if I was done rampaging yet.  Nope... savin' that for the blog.

I want to get better.  I want to go hiking.  I want to WALK WHEREVER, WHENEVER AND HOW MUCH I WANT.  Is this so hard to ask for?  It has been seven months now.  SEVEN.  I feel so deflated by my stupid foot.  I could just cut it off, you know.

So, I have to take it easy.  I've got to cool it with the walking around at work and walking in general, and it looks like my boot will be coming with me on vacation next week.  Stellar.  I want to figure how to work it into a costume somehow, like a pirate with a peg leg.  I think I could pull that off!  I also found that my pair of hiking boots feels so much better than wearing my tennis shoes.  Hardly any pain, and the shoes are super sturdy and offer really good support.  So, I may have to switch to that as my primary shoe if I am doing a lot of walking.  They are purple, so, matching them is kind of a challenge, but IDGAF.

In other news, husband has committed to doing the Spartan Race in Phoenix next month.  I of course am going with him, but will be siloed into supportive wife/water girl this time.  It sucks that I can't do the race with him, but I'm not dumb and I know my foot isn't ready to even attempt something like that.

I have also asked husband to write a guest blog post.  I think it would be great for the blog to get a spouse's perspective on the injury and what a spouse/significant other/close friend could expect with the whole injury process.  Or just general thoughts and feelings.  Maybe some tips to help you deal with a crazy emotionally raging wife?  I don't know.  I'm calling him out officially now though, so it's not an idea I am just kicking around anymore.  It is decided.  Stay tuned!